Justin Bailey

When Metroid came out, my father complained that Nintendo had missed a great opportunity for making games educational. He suggested that instead of the apparently random mish-mash of numbers and letters that made up the passwords for the game, they could have set it up so every digit in a long-division problem would need to be entered.

Fast-forward fifteen years, and the Nintendo DS has a brain training "game". As near as I can tell, it's a set of daily exercises that are meant to make sure you use all parts of the gray matter. The story on IGN does a pretty good job of explaining it.

And here's the weird thing: it looks kinda fun.

Xbox360: Hands-on Review

A fraction of second after grabbing the controller, some dude appeared out of nowhere to tell me that he had seen it at CompUSA, and that it was awesome. He didn't leave. A few seconds later, a ten-year-old sidled up, grinning sweetly. I got the distinct feeling that this was a angel-on-one-shoulder-devil-on-the-other situation, but in the place of miniature versions of myself dressed in white and red were two different facets of my gamer id, one a black-wearing, soul-patch-sporting, turbo-geek with no social skills, the other a bespectacled child too shy to speak. I left abruptly.

Lasers Temple

Seventeen seconds? Seriously?

I know a substantial number of B A Starters have spent altogether too many hours trying to ulock all the cheats in Goldeneye. Dizzying runs done over and over ruined many a sunny summer afternoon for us all, but these guys? Holy shmoley.

Come on down

Has anyone else noticed that the font used in the much-maligned Grand Theft Auto series is the same as the one used for The Price Is Right?

Looks uncomfortable

I'm all for unusual controllers. This, though, seems a bit much. Not that I can't think of at least one person for whom this would be a great gift.

Until they're squeaky clean

So, I've been trying to get the projector-and-laptop guy at work to set up an Xbox night in the auditorium. He keeps telling me to put in an AV request. What am I, some kind of chump? I need to put in a request to use company property for personal entertainment? I go right to the source and I get sent back to the Red-tape Highway? So, I guess I've been put in my place. Once I do finally convince him to take some initiative and make it happen, I'll be sure to remind him who's boss as I repeatedly mop the floors of alien ships with his carcass.

Never happen

Another excellent wedding this weekend.

At the aforementioned wedding, I asked a friend and his girlfriend how their recently purchased Playstation 2 has been working out. I was perfunctorily told that they have been playing Tiger Woods, and then heard a sentence I had never thought I would:

Ashley: "Chris made me a player."

Someone had finally done it. Someone had broken down decades of resistance and convinced his girl to play videogames.

Alex: "Really? That's great! I can't believe it!"
Ashley: "I've got a skort."

Hmm... so, she plays videogames in a skort? (I'm inferring from the horizontal slashing motion she made mid-thigh and the spork-like term that this word is meant to describe an article of clothing that's somehow both a skirt and pair of shorts. Feel free to write in if I'm wrong). Do gamer girls wear skorts? Did these two go to Hot Topic and say "give me everything that geek chicks wear"? Had they taken it that far? In mind appeared a vision of Ashley in a plaid skirt (I still can't figure out what a skort would look like. Something like one hand clapping, I think), black boots, and an anime T-shirt sitting in Chris's living-room mashing buttons.

Alex: "Did he buy you a pink tanktop that says "gamer" or something?
Ashley (befuddled look): "In the game. In Tiger Woods. My player wears a skort."
Alex: "Uh... heh-heh. Who needs a drink?"